To You My Future Self
by TwinSky72
Summary: It arrived shortly after his mother had called to inform him of it's existence, a letter that is. Found in his room with the sloppy handwriting his younger self had addressed to well, him. So now he sat in his room, fingers tracing said letter,for some reason feeling as if it's contents were of the utmost importance.


**Nat:** This is kind of a random story, I thought of the title while washing my hair and the premise kind of came along with it. I hope I manage to make it at least somewhat like my idea.

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To You My Future Self

It had started with a phone call from his mother, he thought, as he stared at the envelope before him. The colour now a bit beige from years lost in the depths of his room.

"_Tsu-kun, Tsu-kun!" _His mother's excited voice had rung clear and proud through the receiver.

"_Hai, kaa-san?" _A small hint of confusion in his voice, while he and his mother still spoke quite often this phone call had been out of the blue, and the obvious excitement intrigued him.

"_I was cleaning through your room, like always," _despite the room being empty for years, aside from the occasional visit, his mother diligently kept the room in pristine condition. A memory to them both, not a single thing moved since his teenage years, _"and I accidentally knocked over this little box, it broke I'm sorry Tsu-kun! But, inside was a letter and it said it was for you, it looked unopened so I sent it."_

"_A letter?"_

"_That's right sweetie, I sent it express because I felt like you needed it right away so it should be there soon."_

"_I'll keep an eye out for it then kaa-san."_

"_That's great Tsu-kun! Now mamma has to go, I'll call you later."_

"_Ja nae kaa-san, I love you."_

"_I love you too honey."_

It had arrived the next day and for some reason Tsuna felt slightly wary in opening it, in front of others that is. It felt oddly personal, though he hadn't even looked at properly, as soon as he had received it he put it gingerly in his coat pocket waiting to be opened. And now, just under a week later, he sat in his room, finally free of all his guardians, servants and Reborn, letter held in his hand.

He looked at it wondering where it had come from. It was addressed to him, in the messy scribbling of his teenage self, though he had no recollection of writing it. He opened it slowly, smiling wryly at the paper it had been written on. He could rarely find a clean sheet of paper to write his homework on as a teenager yet this was some of the nicest stationary he had ever seen. Obviously his younger self had put a lot of thought into this. Which once again brings up the question why he didn't even remember writing it?

Getting comfortable on his bed he unfolded the letter, eyes scanning the first sentence as he began to read.

_Okay so this is kind of weird. Okay it's really weird, but I really feel like doing this for some reason. So here we go!_

_To you my future self;_

_Honestly who writes a letter to their future self? I feel silly just writing that, knowing myself I'll probably forget I even wrote this... I went out and bought some nice paper and everything too..._

Tsuna laughed, it was nostalgic reading this, seeing that despite everything he really hadn't changed.

_Anyways, how are things with you? What's it like being the boss the biggest mafia family ever?_

_Yeah, I know we said that we would never do it but really, I always knew, from the very first moment Reborn came into our lives, that we would. Hyper intuition maybe? A feeling that this is what I, what we, were meant to do. I still don't want to be one, but, at this point, I've sort of accepted it._

_I've never told anyone that, I don't even think Reborn with all his mind-reading skills can tell either. A secret between us then, because again, knowing myself, I'll forget and make this realization again like ten years later._

He blinked, he had a vague recollection of that, at some point whining about being a boss was just something he did to release stress, he was sure no one caught on. And honestly it was better to pretend to whine about something everyone knew, thought really, bothered him then everything else that was _actually _stressing him out.

_Is everyone still together?_

_I mean despite any actual complaints I may have had I am eternally grateful to all the friends I have made through this. Those who will stick by me to the end and those who may say otherwise but I know will stand by me when needed. I mean we went from being Dame-Tsuna (hey does Reborn still call us that? Heck, is he an adult yet? It's so much weirder now, knowing he's a baby trapped in an adult's body and all) to a future boss surrounded by people we could consider family!_

_Say hello to them for me, I know it'll probably sound odd, I mean you are right there saying that you are saying hi, it's weird but please do! Tell them thank you for sticking by me all these years and into such a dangerous world._

_I'm sure you've thought it but maybe you haven't said it! _

_Everyone sacrificed, will sacrifice, so much for me and I just don't know how to repay them. I feel bad sometimes, for dragging them with me but they won't hear of it. Always ready to comfort me, even Hibari-san (do you still call him that? He keeps telling me to stop but I don't know how!), and tell me it's fine, that they want to._

_And honestly despite wishing they didn't have to do this with me I am selfishly grateful that they do. Because they are my precious people and I don't know what I'd do without them._

_So to you, my future self, I request you give everyone a big hug (especially -__K-yo-ya-__!(1) Oh god nope can't do that, sticking to Hibari-san, maybe I can just drop the honorific's, but yeah I just want to see his face it looks really funny in my head) and thank you! Throw them a party; they will be so confused I bet it will be hilarious. _

A smile adorned that young don's face, his love for his guardians, for everyone he had met through this nonsense, had not decreased over the years, if anything it had doubled. Like the letter said these were his precious people, those who had been by his side through all this craziness.

Had he thanked them? He couldn't remember, of all the words that tumbled out his mouth had any of them been thank you? He could not answer this question with a firm yes or no, so that meant, regardless of whether he had or hadn't, he would be doing it again. It would be nice to have a break from everything anyways.

'_Yes we do_' he mentally answered after a moment's pause. He did remember this with clarity, Hibari had, after awhile, gotten very annoyed with his constant stuttering of his name and insisted he stop it. He had misunderstood at first, thinking the former prefect wanted him to stop talking to him all together, but it was simply the others way of allowing him to address him less formally. He had been hesitant, but the slight fear of the other, but more so the awe that Hibari thought of him well enough to bestow the honour of calling him by his first name had eventually persuaded him into it. Actually, Tsuna mused, it was Hibari's not so subtle insistence that had begun the rest of his guardians pushing to do the same. It was a large change for him that seemingly happened in the blink of an eye. He admits to feeling much closer after that, as if the simple action tied them together.

With a thoughtful hum he continued reading.

_Do we ever um_

_..._

_Gosh this is awkward to write!_

_Do we ever make up with Ieimetsu, uh, dad?_

_Being perfectly honest with you (me?), I've always hated dad, but I'm sure you know that. A useless father who was never home, told lies and made kaa-san sad. I could never understand why I had such a man as my father._

_I still don't, I get why he did it, I really do. It doesn't make it any less hurtful. Let's face it; we weren't the most popular of kids and it was hard not having a dad who was there to comfort me. It was disappointing to see all those other kids with their fathers having fun and laughing and not being able to do the same. Painful every year, and I didn't really understand why! And then, before I knew it, I hated him. That first time he came over after Reborn had arrived, he ruined any sense of normalcy I had achieved. And the news! God, never before in my life had I wanted to punch someone like I did him. I felt like he was to blame, for all of this, even if that was wrong. This life would've found me regardless; it was, after all, my blood that led them to me. _

_Still, this realization hits me now, far after that event, and now after all this arcobaleno nonsense. I'm still ashamed that I let a false sense of superiority, blind hatred, and pride that was not what I stood for cloud my judgment. Despite all this I still can't forgive him, I understand why he had to keep his distance but he still could've been around more, in the end I'm just a kid who's angry his dad didn't pay enough attention to him. Though I guess it was the exact opposite._

_So I ask again, are things better? I love my dad, I really do, but I can't really show it because of how he is and how angry he makes me._

He wanted to jump through time and give his younger self a hug; he knew very well this frustration, for he had felt it as well. He wanted to tell him it did get better, so much better.

He and his father were on much better terms, heck he could now even refer to the man as a father! It took him pushing aside his bitter feelings and attempting to relate to the man, it took the other in tears apologizing after he had accidentally blown up at the other on a far too stressful day to truly forgive him. He was no stranger to good people with misguided intention, and his father was just another one of those people.

His father was currently back in Namimori, after he had taken over he made it a point to let his father return more often. With him gone indefinitely his mother was rather lonely and, even more so, they deserved to be each other. His father had kept himself at a distance to protect them both, but he could handle just one of them, he stuck close enough to his mother to make sure she'd always be safe.

A thoughtful smile, it got so much better.

_Well I hope so! _

_Maybe I'll try having lunch with him or something tomorrow... go over to takeSushi, maybe he and Yamamoto's dad will hit it off._

_You know I considered asking if you had you know 'someone' but that seems far too awkward! Even if it is myself it just seems so personal! I mean even if it is why should it matter? Sharing personal things with yourself isn't a crime or anything. But still! I just couldn't even if I am really interested... I'm never even going to hear the answer so it's not like I'll have an answer to my curiosity. Okay so I will, well you do, but you're me so _

_and_

_Uh, just like forget that entire thing happened! I should've written this in pencil I can't erase pen._

_Yeah, let's just move on and pretend that none of this happened and that I totally didn't embarrass myself in front of myself._

He laughed amusement almost palpable as the sound escaped his lips. He could understand why people insisted he was so cute, of course they still do but it has dialed down quite a bit, his awkwardness actually was a bit endearing seeing it firsthand now.

_Continuing on (and you seriously better be forgetting that previous blurb! Gosh I had to stop writing to hit my head on the desk... I probably shouldn't have said that it makes me seem dumb) how is Vongola doing anyways? Did we destroy it like we told Primo we would? _

_I'm hoping the answer is yes, while I have resigned myself to this position I don't want to go into this blood-stained world if I only plan on contributing it. I want to change it, return it back to Primo's vision; because that is the only mafia I can get behind._

_Even the mafia can be peaceful right? I really hope so at least._

His younger self was a lot more, what was the word, observant maybe, than he was given credit for. More than he himself have himself credit for. It was hard to see how much Tsuna thought about everything when he rarely actually voiced those thoughts.

Still, his younger self's wish had been fulfilled. While there was still much to do Tsuna could proudly state that he had changed much about Vongola's bloodied world, and was slowly but surely getting it back on track. He smiled; it brought him great joy that he had been able to do that, it had been his primary goal when he had first become Decimo that he was even half way there meant a lot.

He wondered if Primo was proud, or at the very least happy with what he managed to do with the family he started. He twirled the ring on his finger, almost one hundred percent sure the other was in it, constantly watching over. He and all the others bosses that came before Tsuna.

_I think I've just about rambled enough, my future self is probably groaning at how useless they were! Okay maybe not useless but you get the point! Especially since I'm talking about you._

_I guess, to finish off, I just wanted to tell you to keep up the good work! And that I, yourself really, support you no matter what and I'm sure our friends do too._

_To you my future self I wish luck too, because I know life can't be easy._

_To you my future self I wish that we have achieved everything we wanted._

_To you my future self, and perhaps the most important, I hope we grew up to be that guy we wanted to be, because I know right now I am well on my way to being him._

_And I know you can do it if you still haven't!_

_ Sincerely;_

_ Sawada Tsunayoshi; your younger self_

He finds himself crying and he doesn't know why, quickly rubbing the tears away he stand and places the letter back in the envelope before putting it in his most secure drawer. He will be sure to find a safe but easily accessible place for it, because it made him feel happy and nostalgic, with a hint of confused sadness.

He blinks away the last remains of tears just as the door to his room opens revealing a smirking Reborn.

"Dame-Tsuna what are you doing in your room it's been hours?" He asks, lean form pressed against the door.

"Hours?" Shocked that it had been even more than one, it had felt like no time at all had passed.

"Yes, hours, it's already dinner time, hurry up before your guardians destroy the whole mansion."

"Reborn couldn't you handle them? I worked hard to finally get some time alone." Features pulled into a pout.

"I am not paid to do such things."

"You sound like Mammon!" He didn't even flinch at the bullet that just so narrowly missed him. "If you don't want to be compared to Mammon then don't act like Mammon." He said, smiling smugly at the irritated air around his ex-tutor.

"Just get to the dining hall before I actually do shoot you in the head."

"Sure sure~" The musical tilt in his voice floating through the hall as he practically skipped down it. Laughing as he heard Reborn grumble to himself as he followed him to the dining hall.

_To my younger self, we did manage to become that person, but only because we had everyone else to support us._

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**Words: 2732**

**(1)- **ugh this site doesn't do formatting the way I need it too, that word was originally struck out to make it seem like Tsuna has crossed it out but that doesn't transfer over so you get that. This also applies to the end of the letter, there is only left and centre on this no right so i can't place it on the righthand side, i tried spacing it the whole way by when you save it it just disappears, groans loudly, such is life

**Nat:** Okay first of all including everything i had written before writing the word count it had 2772 words and that is very important to note.

Moving on, in case the timeline wasn't clear the story itself takes place in the TYL!era of the manga, maybe a bit farther ahead and the letter is written soon after the end of the manga.

It was a fun idea to work with and I definitely had fun writing it, I did it all in one day! Still I feel like I made letter Tsuna a bit OOC, but I chalk it to people sometimes sound different in writing, and it's a lot easier to talk to yourself then to anyone else.

Anyways, that's all for me, I'll be gone now for the next two days as my parent's drag me to Ottawa. See you all soon~


End file.
